Republicans in Flames

From the pages of current news comes several examples of Republicans going up (down) in flames. I keep thinking this is like watching a movie of disaster in slow motion while cute puppy dogs run around yipping at everything and providing comic relief. It’s funny in the sense that the typical Republican official has become so wacked out they don’t even realize how crazy they sound to normal people.

Also too; how mean-spirited, cruel, and just completely out-of-touch with the norms of civilized society these folks seem. So, I feel no remorse in laughing at their self-inflicted immolation.

Not Voting Your Conscience

At the conclusion of last weekend’s “Trump Impeachment – The Sequel” show, every senator got to vote on whether or not they felt former Pres*dent trump was responsible for stirring up the mob that tried to kill multiple congress-critters. Including said Senators. Some people might think that living through the attack, then watching the totally-not-made-in-Hollywood video clips, would seal the deal. But then again, we’re talking about Republicans. In the space-time continuum normal Earthlings live in, only seven Republican senators voted trump guilty. One of them was Senator Pat Toomey (R-PA). Of course, Senator Toomey was applauded by other members of his party for standing up for Truth, Justice, and the American Way, right? No, actually. That would be a different space-time continuum.

This was what we really had:

No word on whether any elected Pennsylvanian Republicans disagreed with their county chair. Also no word on whether Pennsylvanian voters believed they sent Pat Toomey to Washington, D.C., to represent the whole state of Pennsylvania, as opposed to representing a handful of other republican officials.

A Texas-Sized Dickhead

Last summer our American state of California was having a number of cascading problems. A long-term drought dried out non-raked forest floors which easily burned when a high-voltage power line shot sparks into the brush. This triggered off a sequence of massive forest fires which raged out of control for weeks. In an effort to prevent additional fires from starting, California’s Pacific Gas and Electric (PGA) shut down power over areas subject to burning, over a period of weeks.

Of course, Americans stood up for Californians in their time of misery, and federal officials led by Pres*dent trump did everything possible to help, right? Again, no; wrong space-time continuum. In this reality, we had trump refusing to provide federal aid because California voted for the other guy (woman). Republican senators including Ted Cruz (R-TX) mocked California and tried scoring cheap political points.

Fast-forward to now. The state of Texas experienced snow and cold weather in February which totally caught the state’s electric utility managers off-guard. The result has been millions of Texans without power for a period of days with outside temps in the low ‘teens. Which means that temps inside most Texan homes and buildings without power for days are also in the low ‘teens.

So now we have this:

What we do not have, is elected Democratic officials taking cheap shots at Texas. President Biden (D-For all Americans) quickly released federal aid to the suffering people of Texas even though the state voted for the other guy back in November. No word on Ted Cruz’s current whereabouts, but rumor has it he’s hiding in an undisclosed location somewhere in Washington, D.C. Which does have electricity.

Bonus Texas-Sized Dickhead

But wait! There’s more. Apparently Senator Ted Cruz isn’t the only elected Republican dickhead deep in the heart of Texas. In response to the suffering and misery of the people of the town who elected this Republican as mayor, we had this one issue the following statement:

So I’m thinking someone forgot to tell this Texas mayor who it was that elected him to his – paid – public service job. Also, who it was that paid his public service salary. However, normal space-time continuum did catch up with this one, and shortly after his “be a part of the solution” message we have him becoming part of the solution. By resigning his public office job.

I’m thinking someone told him pissing off the people who voted for him wasn’t the way to keep his job.

Alien vs Predator

So now, we regrettably come to the last of our “Republicans in Flames” story for today. We end with what reminds me of the old joke about the movie “Alien vs Predator;” no matter who you cheer for, they’re both monsters.

During this past weekend’s “Trump Impeachment – The Sequel” show, Senator Mitch McConnell (R-TN), totally not the Senate Majority leader, outdid himself. He voted former Pres*dent trump as “not guilty” for inciting a riot that could have gotten said Senator McConnell killed, then immediately afterwards vigorously denounced the same former Pres*dent trump for starting a riot. The same riot that could have gotten Senator McConnell killed.

Former twice impeached Pres*dent trump didn’t take too kindly to McConnell saying bad things about him. I suspect not being able to immediately grab his not-secure cellphone and Twitter off a nasty comment further enraged trump. So, through his spokespersons, trump issued a formal response.

As unlikely as this sounds – I actually agree with trump. McConnell matching the Democratic offer of a $2000 check in the much-delayed Covid-19 relief package with a $600 check probably did not win the hearts and minds of Georgia voters. But, I can’t help but enjoy trump bashing McConnell in public like this.

Here’s hoping for many more future examples of “Republicans in Flames.” Buy more popcorn.

Retraction

Editors Note, February 18, 2021: I need to print a retraction to my accusation that Senator Ted Cruz was hiding in Washington, D.C., while his constituents were freezing in Texas. Senator Cruz is not, in fact, hiding in Washington, D.C. In truth, Senator Cruz took his family on a vacation trip to Cancun, Mexico.

Also too; Senator Ted Cruz is highly supportive of building a wall between the U.S. and Mexico. I humbly apologize for falsely accusing Senator Ted Cruz of remaining in Washington, D.C., doing the job his constituents elected him to do, during this time of crisis in his home state.

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