Important Disaster Planning Information

My mom sent me this important and useful piece of information on disaster preparedness.  Considering the number of disasters I’ve lived through these past years, I wanted to share it here.

I am not the author of this helpful piece. I’d just like to share it here as a sort of public service announcement in case you happen to be thinking about being in an earthquake or other natural disaster for this slow Saturday afternoon…

What to Do in Case of an Earthquake

Before

• Conduct Practice Drills.
• Physically place yourself in a safe location.  Like Wyoming
• Ignore all warnings.  This guarantees nothing bad will happen.  Remember; mind over matter.
• Know the Danger spots:  unsecured bookshelves, fireplaces, and your mother-in-law’s house.
• Carry a cell phone at all times so you’ll be able to call for help from underneath all the rubble.

During

• Panic!  Whatever you do, panic!  This world can always use some more fear, chaos, and violence.
• Charge admission.  It’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience and well worth a few bucks.
• Watch for falling objects, real estate and real estate prices.

After

• Take a drive, get in the way of emergency vehicles, go through stoplights, and give everybody the finger.  You’ve just been thorough a very traumatic event; you have the right to act like a jerk.
• Help the economic recovery.  Sell the rubble of your life as souvenirs to tourists.
• Throw a party for those who survived.  The ruins, fires and sirens will provide a dramatic atmosphere, insuring a unique and memorable evening for all.
• Check for gas leaks with a lighted match.  That way, you’ll explode causing no further damage to anyone.

These tips were greatly in evidence before, during, and after Hurricane Katrina.  Enjoy!