The National Review Online “The Corner” by my most beloved writer, Jonah Goldberg, arguably the greatest living writer of all time, strikes serious pay dirt with today’s post Save The Polar Bears.
Today’s treat offers his suggestions on solving the prospective threat of a world with no polar bears.
Some of his insight is breathtaking, such as:
This is not to say reasonable anti-pollution regulations aren’t a good idea, etc etc, blah blah blah. We can have all those arguments later.
And his foray into the world of environmental engineering leaves me with the “Duh!” feeling:
If the polar bears need more floating ice to survive, let’s get them some more floating ice! Like artificial reefs, we can build fake floating ice, or make real floating ice, and distribute it across the polar bear habitat.
But it’s his final thoughts that leave me awed:
If we stopped greenhouse gas emissions tomorrow, does anybody really think that ice would suddenly re-form at the poles in time to save polar bears from drowning? This isn’t an episode of Superfriends, people. This is the real world.
He ends his piece by soliciting additional thoughts on saving polar bears. So I put my thinking cap on and came up with a solution that has so many positives I can’t add them all up.
Here is my letter to Jonah:
****
Dear Jonah,
I just had to take the time to comment on your incredible post concerning polar bears and floating ice.
I wish my words could express what I feel when reading such ideas. Alas, I am at a loss. Have you ever considered publishing reality-based science fiction? Michael Crichton seems to be past his prime, so this field needs a new leader.
But it’s your position as the world’s leading prophet of airborne laser volcano lancing that really got me thinking. After recently seeing one of Hollywood’s greatest classics, “Joe versus the Volcano,” I realized the perfect solution to global warming was right in front of me!
All we need to do is gather every wise person in America who see right through the hoax of global warming, and send them around the world to active volcanoes. We get them all standing on the edge of their assigned volcanoes, and at a pre-arranged signal sent by an orbiting Vorlon battle-cruiser, they all jump in!
The mass of hot air released by the simultaneous extinction of our global non-warming experts is sure to instantaneously reverse arctic ice melting, and save the polar bears.
Please let me know your thoughts. I would be greatly honored to personally arrange for your volcano jump.
Ron is a native New Yorker and 22-year Navy veteran. He retired from active duty in 1996 as a Senior Chief Electronics Technician (Submarine Qualified) and went on to build a successful post-Navy career in logistics, focused on the shipbuilding and ship-repair industry. He currently works for the US Coast Guard in the Washington D.C. headquarters. Ron and his wife Weifang (Winnie) lives in Northern Virginia. When he's not on a boat, traveling, or working home improvement projects, he spends his time writing and building websites.
We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
Cookie
Duration
Description
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional
11 months
The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy
11 months
The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
Jonah Goldberg Saves the Polar Bears!
The National Review Online “The Corner” by my most beloved writer, Jonah Goldberg, arguably the greatest living writer of all time, strikes serious pay dirt with today’s post Save The Polar Bears.
Today’s treat offers his suggestions on solving the prospective threat of a world with no polar bears.
Some of his insight is breathtaking, such as:
And his foray into the world of environmental engineering leaves me with the “Duh!” feeling:
But it’s his final thoughts that leave me awed:
He ends his piece by soliciting additional thoughts on saving polar bears. So I put my thinking cap on and came up with a solution that has so many positives I can’t add them all up.
Here is my letter to Jonah:
****
Related Posts
A Mind is a Terrible Thing
Life after Katrina… Day 26
We Are One World
Share this:
Ron Charest
Ron is a native New Yorker and 22-year Navy veteran. He retired from active duty in 1996 as a Senior Chief Electronics Technician (Submarine Qualified) and went on to build a successful post-Navy career in logistics, focused on the shipbuilding and ship-repair industry. He currently works for the US Coast Guard in the Washington D.C. headquarters. Ron and his wife Weifang (Winnie) lives in Northern Virginia. When he's not on a boat, traveling, or working home improvement projects, he spends his time writing and building websites.
Opinions & Commentary
Commentary Jonah Goldberg Letters To Writers Mocking Polar Bears