Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
So, I added to my ever-growing list of movie reviews by answering another Quora question. This one was on the most unrealistic movie scenes which annoy the hell out of me. Which led me into discussing the always-included Hollywood action-movie car chase scenes.
The Question
The Exact Quora question was: What is something unrealistic that you often see in movies that annoys the hell out of you?
Actually, there’s a lot of things I see in movies that annoy the hell out of me. Seemingly, the older I get, the more annoyed I get at stupid stuff in movies. Maybe that’s just me turning into the hollywood-typical “old crusty curmudgeon with a heart of gold” trope. Maybe it’s just that the movies are getting crappier and more rote with year passing year. Which is something I think my dad used to say. Followed by “you kids just don’t know what you’re missing now-a-days.”
Whatever. There’s stuff in today’s movies that annoy me. So when I saw this quora question, I decided to throw in my two cents worth.
My Quora Answer
High-Speed car chases. Usually combined with massive shoot-outs between the chaser(s) and chasee.
I mean, you have several cars/trucks/busses driving at high speeds down crowded city streets, careening across lanes, and even moving against traffic. These cars/trucks/busses run through red lights and stop signs causing massive accidents with other cars/trucks/busses. Then you add in shootouts where the various drivers are shooting various calibers of guns at each other. Those bullets inevitably miss their intended target and go – somewhere.
As the road chase goes on the carnage on the roads ramps up to exponential proportions. Store fronts are shot out and cars run into other store fronts. Massive accidents occur at every intersection where our hero and villain’s run through while shooting at each other. Cars flip over and crash into each other, lamp posts, and more store fronts. Pedestrians are running away from this carnage while screaming.
The chase typically ends with the villian and hero confronting each other, in the middle of a street, heaps of burning cars around them. And more shooting various caliber firearms at each other until the villain is dead or escapes, depending on which part of the movie the chase scene occurred.
So with all this industrial grade road rage down crowded city streets, with wreckage and carnage and fire fights going on for minutes at a time, where the hell are the cops?
My Quora Answer
Other Annoying Stuff
Closely related to high-speed road chases without cops, are cars parking in cities. As a native New Yorker, I remember the first time I drove myself into Manhattan during a weekday. It took me several times driving around city blocks to find a blank piece of curb to park alongside. I finally got myself tucked nicely in-between lots of other cars parked along that curb. I went about my business and when I returned that afternoon, I found my truck all alone on that curb with an expensive parking ticket. For parking in a non-parking zone.
I guess I should consider myself lucky I wasn’t towed.
So, my other big movie trope that annoys the hell out of me? Our movie heroes driving down a busy city street and simply pulling into a curb-side parking space right in front of the building they need to get into. And they even parallel park on the very first try. No driving around the block a few times. They don’t park six blocks away and hike in. Their car doesn’t roll back and forth, slowly easing into the too-tight space. Our heroes just drive down the Goddamned Street and pull right into a parking space right where they want it.
Totally Fake. You now have my crusty curmudgeon grump of the day. I’m still looking for my heart of gold.
